Congratulations on your new baby – to the mom’s reading.
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of our lives.
Watching your belly grow. Seeing the ultrasounds.
And waiting in anticipation of the arrival of your baby.

As a first-time mom, your big worry was about all the unknowns of having a baby.
You may have pets as I do. Their care was the main worry with baby number one – other than all the unknowns of having a baby.

And, now with baby number two – you are racking your brain trying to figure out
“What to do with baby number one when you go to deliver the new baby.

What to Do with First Child During Birth of Second?

Moms, I feel your pain! I was there too.
I prayed and hoped for both my babies. It took us two years to get pregnant with our first. And one year of trying – to get pregnant with our second.

Looking back now, I can see that God had his plans for me and my husband.

We weren’t ready for the children he would bless us with – when we started trying.

NO FAMILY LIVING CLOSE…

My husband and I met while we were both in college. I was completing undergrad and he was completing grad school. Once we completed college we focused on getting jobs.

Those jobs have taken us all over the country. This means we are typically living away from family.

It was just the two of us and our two dogs – before we had our daughters.

With our firstborn’s delivery, we only had to figure out care for our dogs.
And, how to prepare the dogs for the new baby. We sent home blankets the baby used for the dogs to smell before taking the baby home.

We were fortunate that my mother was transitioning between jobs and was able to stay with us for a few weeks. It was a blessing to have her before, during, and after the birth of my first baby.

 

PLANNING FOR THE DELIVERY OF THE SECOND BABY WAS DIFFERENT

What will I do with our little girl when I go to the hospital – to deliver her baby sister?

You may have a similar predicament as I did.

You’re not sure what you’ll do with your child, while you’re delivering your new baby.

HELPING OUR DAUGHTER TRANSITION – from an only child to
BIG SISTER

I was so focused on all the logistics of preparing and delivering the new baby.
And worrying about who would watch our daughter when I went to the hospital.

It dawned on me “what a change it would be for our daughter”.

We had to make sure we prepared her emotionally.

Steps we took to help our daughter prepare to be a big sister.

My daughter was an only child for almost three years. She was the center of our universe and knew it.
She was excited about her baby sister. However, we were sensitive to the big change it would be for her.

• We researched and spoke to friends – about how they prepared their first child for the second.
• Then came up with steps that would lead up to the day of delivery.
• When my firstborn, Kennedie (2+ at the time) would meet her baby sister, Kendall. We kept Kennedie involved throughout the journey.
• She prayed with us for a baby.
• We told her when we found out a baby was in my tummy.
• Kennedie helped name Kendall. She tells everyone she gave Kendall her name until this day.

I bought “I’m a big sister” books that showed her how awesome it is to be a big sister.

• The books covered how she can help mommy (me) with the baby.
• They covered the attention the new baby will get and how she may feel.
• Having the pictures helped her see and get a better understanding of what it would be like.
• The books were very helpful in helping Kennedie transition – from being an only child to a big sister.
  She takes her role as a big sister very seriously.
• Those “I’m a big sister” books helped me as well.
• I was reminded of how much attention a newborn baby needs and is given.
• And had to be cognizant of Kennedie’s feelings as we transitioned with the new baby.

Preparing Kennedie to be more independent.

As a working mom living in the city – I had to walk from our condo to the parking lot with Kennedie, all her stuff for daycare plus my bags for work. With the new baby, I would also have the baby, her car seat, and her bag for daycare.

Implementation before the arrival of our second.

• Put a step stool in the car so that Kennedie could climb in her car seat by herself.
• Taught her how to buckle herself in her car seat.
• She learned how to dress and undress by herself.
• Showed her how to get a snack from the pantry and fridge.
• Thankfully, she was potty-trained before the arrival of the new baby.
• We got Kennedie an “I’m a big sister t-shirt” and gifts from us and her baby sister.
  She received the gifts when she met her baby sister for the first time at the hospital.

My husband and I tried to make the transition from being an only child positive for Kennedie.

SIDE NOTE: Kennedie is now in second grade and had to write a story about a memory that changed her life.  She wrote about meeting her baby sister at the hospital for the first time! The details she remembers are amazing!!!

We had a plan to help our Firstborn child get ready to be a big sister, however, we still needed to figure out what we would do with her during the birth of her sister.
My mom was not as readily available for the delivery of our second baby.  She was working a very demanding job – and she lived a few states away.

OPTIONS FOR CHILDCARE – WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL

•  A Family Member that you Trust.
  My mom and aunt were and are always my number one choice to care for my children, especially when they were younger.
• Trusted Friend and/or Neighbor.
• Hire a childcare sitter to stay at your house with your child.
  
• THE DAY BEFORE THE DELIVERY OF OUR SECONDBORN.

I remember sitting in my car the day before Kendall was born. I just had my final OB check-up. My regular doctor was out sick and I had to see another doctor I had never met prior.

My hope was to try VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). We had scheduled a date for a c-section – just in case I did not go into labor by a certain date.
I was hoping to talk with my doctor and see if we could hold out and wait until I went into labor. It was deemed best to go ahead with my c-section based on all my medical history.

I was distraught and scared. I wanted my mommy. However, she couldn’t be there until after the delivery.
My husband was at work preparing for his paternity leave. I called him and didn’t get an answer.
I then called my aunt who lived 45 minutes away. She would be taking care of Kennedie while my husband and I went to the hospital to deliver Kendall.

I just broke down and started crying. Alright, I bawled, ugly tears.
I sat in that car and cried for over an hour. My aunt stayed on the phone with me and mostly listened and consoled me.

I was to go back to work after my doctor’s appointment. Yes, I worked right up until delivery. I had to save all my days for maternity leave. I ended up working from home for the rest of the day.

THE EMOTIONS OF HAVING A BABY

Having a baby comes with all sorts of emotions. With the first baby, you have the excitement of the unknown.
You don’t even know what you don’t know.
With the second baby, you have the experience from your first delivery and know what it takes.
(All or most births are different though)
Plus all that will be required of YOU as a mom of a newborn.
You have to deal with all you and your body needs after delivery in addition to all the needs of a newborn baby.

Preparing for the arrival of your secondborn is not only about the logistics. 

You may be so focused on the logistics of who will care for your first child during the birth of your second as I was.
Work with your husband and support system to figure out what works for you and your family.

Remember your firstborn as you prepare for your second baby. You know your child best and what he/she may need to prepare for the transition – of going from being an only child and having all your attention.

Think about what will help you with the transition as well. Your transition in those first days, weeks, and new life as a mommy of two. I knew I would be limited with movement in the first days with my c-section. We lived in a two-story house so I had to make preparations to limit my going up and down the stairs.

What to Do with First Child During Birth of Second?

• Prepare your firstborn before the birth of your second.
• Get a trusted family member or friend to care for him/her and help with the transition as your firstborn meet their baby brother or sister for the first time.

Looking back now as my daughters are seven and four years old.

We are preparing them for a lifetime relationship as siblings and friends. My daughters are each other’s best friends, even if they don’t realize it and fight like little cats at times.

My sister is my first best friend. We are best friends forever. I’m almost two years older than her.
As I reflect and write this post – I see what a blessing it has been having my sister.
Knowing and having someone that you always have each other back.

This is the opportunity we have to bless our children with friendship and a bond that can help them navigate LIFE together.

I hope this helps you as you transition to being a mommy of two. I know it can be overwhelming, especially when you are working (and dealing with all the challenges of being a working mom).

And if you’re living away from family as I was during the birth of my babies.
You are racking your brain trying to figure out who will care for your first child during the birth of your second.

YOU GOT THIS MAMA! Work out the logistics. Get your notebook and make your plan. Include your support system.
It truly takes a village – of doing this thing called life – especially when we have kids.

Breathe and enjoy the moments. It will pass and be a memory soon.