We’re juggling so many roles as Humans each day. Trying to find the infamous “balance”. Constantly on a roller coaster running from one role to the next. Often multi-tasking as we wear several hats at once.
As we try to achieve this “balance” we sometimes feel like we are failing or just can’t win.
Failing ourselves as we try to get fit and healthy. And not seeing the results.
Failing our kids as we are not spending enough quality time with them.
Failing our husbands as we haven’t had a date night since – we can’t even remember.
But, thank goodness we are kicking but at work. Meeting and exceeding all our goals.
Right now…
Life Rollercoasters
I have been riding these roller coasters for years. I just keep upgrading.
I rode them in college as I struggled to work two or three jobs, maintain good grades and have a social life.
I rode a new wave of roller coasters after graduating from college, getting married and started my career journey.
Oh, and did I ride roller coasters as I climbed my way up the virtual corporate ladder while trying to do adult life.
I have always enjoyed roller coasters.
However, as I got older, I realized I couldn’t “hang” as I did when I was younger.
I felt an added pressure when I became a mother.
The pressure of being responsible for someone else’s life. This made me want to Do and Be Better.
I felt like I was on a hyperspeed roller coaster as I tried to juggle been a working mom –
especially during the first few years.
It’s Not Easy to Always Recognize Our Wins
It’s hard to see the fruits of our labor when we’re going fast.
Without slowing down and stopping occasionally to smell the roses. And seeing all our blessings.
Keep putting in the work to create the life YOU want.
You don’t have to be “the best” just do YOUR best.
You will find YOUR Rhythm, YOUR Balance, and Dance to Your Own Beat.
Remember to slow down once a while and recognize that your efforts are paying off.
Each small step is movement. Recognize and Celebrate them.
It’s Easier to Recognize our Wins at Work than Home
At work, we have specific goals we are working to achieve that are measurable.
We can tell easily when our hard work pays off. Hopefully…
We can create SMART goals for our personal life as well.
I have tried and keep trying! However, it’s a bit more challenging when you have no one to hold you accountable.
I’m trying to learn to make promises to myself and keep them.
#LessionsFromMsRachelHollis #GirlWashYourFace
As mothers – we are just trying to figure it out as we go along.
Throwing mud at the wall and hoping something sticks.
Side Note: S.M.A.R.T. goal is defined as one that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-Focused, and Time-Bound.
You can find more information and tools to help you create S.M.A.R.T goals here.
MY REMINDERS –
to recognize that my hard work is paying off.
I was getting some free coffee after getting out of a Full Body Conditioning
class at the gym today. There was a lady from the class getting coffee as well.
She turned to me and said, “you are so fit, I was watching you. You were great in class.”
You’ll I was shocked. I thanked her and told her I’m trying.
In my head, I was saying “a who shi a talk to!” in Patio (my Jamaican dialect).
Meaning, “who is she speaking to?”
During the class, I felt like I was struggling. No, I was struggling!
I felt awkward doing the moves. I did not see a fit person when
I looked at myself in the mirror.
I had to tell myself to just give it my all and I tried to have fun and be thankful for the opportunity to be able to move.
I was seriously giving myself pep talks as this low voice in the back of my head
was saying “just leave”.
The lady telling me “you are so fit” triggered the thought for this post.
She was the fourth person to comment on my fitness in the last few weeks.
In a positive manner. And it made me stop and think.
RECOGNIZE and CELEBRATE your SMALL WINS
I do have goals that I am still working towards and struggling with on this fitness journey.
However, I haven’t done a good job of recognizing and celebrating my small wins.
I remember when I took a boot camp class in April 2017 and the instructor told us to
do a burpee.
I asked her what’s a burpee? And to demonstrate how to do it.
She looked at me strangely and asked if I was kidding.
She could not believe I did not know what a burpee was!
{Sorry lady! Some of us are new to this! }
Google burpee if you don’t know what a burpee is either.
I laughed so hard at myself those first few classes in the boot camp. I was ridiculous.
But, I just kept working hard, pushing myself beyond my comfort zone.
You can read some bit about my fitness journey here and here.
Others Seeing Your Results – When You Don’t
The comments on my fitness journey that I mentioned.
- I took a tough, but fun exercise class this summer.
I went to thank the instructor at the end of class.
She asked me if I worked at the gym as an instructor.
With wide eyes and mouth open in astonishment at her comment – I mumbled no. - I attended a class with one of my favorite instructors after the summer break.
She asked if I have been working out all summer.
She said she saw the difference and that I looked great. - I went to Orangetheory (OT) earlier this week.
I was working out on my nemesis “the rower”
and an OT friend commented how strong I was. - And then the lady that told me “you are so fit” at the coffee center.
There is a saying about listening when you hear the same thing three or more times.
Or something in the effect…
I was so focused on my goals, I failed to recognize my small wins along the way!
I’m thankful for all the kind souls, who took the time to help me recognize.
Correlating this to Parenting
This revelation made me think about my kids. Parenting is the most challenging role
I have ever had. Yes, sometimes or most of the times, I’m just throwing mud at the wall –
trying to figure it all out and hoping something sticks.
This is the role I’m most scared of failing. And often I do feel like I am.
RECOGNIZING YOUR WINS AS A MOM
My brain correlated my realization that I was not recognizing that my hard work in the gym was paying off – to:
Me not recognizing that my hard work as a mom is paying off. And recognizing my wins.
I try to approach my parenting as preparing my daughters to be the best
Humans can be.
Giving them the tools to help them be successful.
Teaching them to treat others how they want to be treated. To Be Kind.
When I find myself telling them the same things repeatedly, I question my efforts.
When another parent tells you how respectful your child is.
Gives you validity that some of the mud you have been throwing –
is sticking.
Our family attended a party earlier this year. Another mom at the party came over to tell me how respectful my youngest daughter is.
My daughter needed help getting something in the kitchen and politely interrupted a group of adults talking in the kitchen to ask for help. She practiced her manners with excuse me; please and thank you.
This warmed my heart to hear.
When your children find a way to play with kids that don’t speak English.
We were at a gettogether with our small group from church.
We had a family visiting from Germany who was at this gettogether.
They had two daughters.
One was two or three and the other five years old.
My daughters were similar age at the time, three and six years old.
They were running around playing with these two little girls.
The four girls were having an amazing time playing in the backyard and going back and forth inside the house.
Laughing and playing together as if they knew each other forever.
The mom and I stood watching our girls playing together.
She emotionally turned and told me that they had been in the United States for four weeks
and this was the first time she had seen her daughters have fun.
She told me that her daughters did not want to stay in the kid center at church and hadn’t really played with the kids there.
The mom told me that my oldest daughter asked her how to say a few words in German.
With those few words, my two daughters were able to communicate with her daughters.
She was so happy to see her daughters playing and enjoying themselves.
I had no idea about any of this until the mom told me.
My heart swelled with emotions to see how kind and smart my girls behaved.
They made the entire family feel happy.
The daughters were happily playing with my girls and the parents were just happy to see them happy and playing.
This is one of my measures of success as a mother and parent.
Hearing and seeing how my children treat others and behave.
How I Plan to – Recognize When My Hard work is Paying Off
I must use these memories and instances as reminders that I’m doing something right.
And all my efforts to be the best mother – I can be – is paying off.
At work we may get a pat on the shoulder, an award or a bonus to recognize and reward all our hard work.
This makes it easier to recognize that all our efforts at work are paying off.
We don’t get or rarely get those rewards when it comes to our personal life though.
This makes it harder to recognize that all our efforts are paying off!
- I’m going to work on doing better. Now that I know and recognize this about myself.
- I will slow down, and look on and smell the roses more.
I will write down my goals using SMART goals. And, go back to check on the wins and gains I have made. - I will do a better job of using Ruth Soukup’s Living Well Planner that I bought.
We can’t keep riding these roller coasters of life without taking in the sites along the way and recognizing the gains we have made.
Let’s all work on doing better to recognize and celebrate – when our hard work is paying off.
Especially the small wins we have for the various roles we play as MOMS and HUMANS.
I hope this post helps you to recognize and realize that you’re doing great!
Are there some wins that you have had and didn’t recognize?
I welcome you to share and look forward to hearing from you.
With a grateful heart,
Yamiek, aka, Tallawah Human
