Moms, have you ever had a time (hours, days, weeks, months…) when you felt like you just can’t win?
You are determined to get it together and gather yourself and keep regrouping…however, life keeps coming at you…
A Series of Mommy Failures
You are hosting an event at work and wake up super early to prep before the family is up.
You are feeling ahead of the game and pumped for the day.
Things are going well; no one complained about breakfast or the outfits you choose and you can breathe a little and talk with your kids while getting them ready.
Not scream to stop hitting your sister, put on your shoe or put down the iPad.
And then your three-year-old daughter spills the hot chocolate on herself!
You need to get your six-year-old daughter to school on time (we don’t want a tardy) and then get to work to prepare for your event.
First “mom failure”
You take a deep breath and go over to help her.
The hot chocolate is all over her pretty pink flowery dress “with pockets that she loves”!
It’s everywhere, even in the dress pockets and on the dog! That was sitting at her feet waiting for her to sneak him some food.
You think “I should have given her a cup with a lid”.
Second “mom failure”
You look at her and she smiles and says, “my warm chocolate spilled mommy”.
You tell her it’s okay and try to keep calm and not get the hot chocolate on your work outfit.
You quickly clean up and change her outfit. You are still feeling good despite the small derail.
You get your oldest to school on time and have enough time to get to work early.
You drop off your youngest at daycare and as you are leaving you realize that you gave the girls the wrong lunch/snack bags!!!!
Working it out…
Your six-year-old will not have enough food for snack time.
You quickly figure out how you can make the switch while getting to work on time. You leave the apple slices for your three-year old’s snack time that is coming up and take the lunch bag with the rest of the food.
This Was My Morning People!!!
I emailed my six-year old’s teacher and let her know I had a “mommy fail” and will be dropping off the correct bag.
She thankfully sees my email and offers to have my daughter take the other bag to the front desk.
I parked out front, “put my blinkers on” and ran inside and made the switch.
I had to work and had an event; thankful it was a short meeting. After the meeting, I dropped off my three-year-old’s lunch bag.
It wasn’t even lunch time yet.
I felt beaten after a long day, and thankful that dinner was prepped.
I cleaned up the kitchen after dinner and my husband went to get the girls ready for their baths and bedtime routine.
The “mom failure” that hurt…
I came upstairs after cleaning up the kitchen and our three-year-old is “cleaning” the bathroom sink and our six-year-old is playing in her room. My husband is in bed reading something on his phone.
I asked him to get the girls ready and he jokingly said our youngest is cleaning the bathroom.
I did not find it funny.
I was tired and wanted to get the girls to bed so I could take a shower.
I went to get the girls ready for their baths and they were not listening at all.
My youngest had the hand soap making bubbles in the sink and my oldest was running around laughing.
I can feel myself getting more frustrated and my Mommy Voice Makes an Appearance.
My husband comes out of the bedroom and I wanted to just scream at him and the girls.
I stormed off and left them.
I did not like the little monster I was becoming. Yep, Hulk was coming out!
I had to cool off.
I went to take a shower and decided that a bath was needed with some calming music.
I locked the door and did not answer when the girls kept knocking, although I really wanted to.
When I came out the girl’s bedtime routine was complete and they were in bed, and my husband was relaxing and reading.
They handled it without me!
Moms, Sometimes We Just Have to Step Away.
I was able to keep my head on my shoulders and figure out practical solutions to my morning “mom failures”.
But, I felt like a big failure when I lost it on my girls and husband. I felt bad and disappointed with myself.
I went to say goodnight to the girls and they were so happy to see me. They gave me big hugs and I just held them a little bit tighter and longer.
Learning To Embrace My Failures And Learn From Them.
As I reflect on this crazy day; I learned some lessons that may benefit you as well. When you feel overwhelmed and that you are failing:
- Give yourself some grace time; just in case.
Try and prepare for your day before you go to bed or wake up early and prep before the kids get up.I try to have all our clothes picked out for the next day before going to bed.I also have the girls’ bags ready and on a bench by the front door.
I do different variations of meal prep for the entire family that helps to save time. - Try to keep your cool.
Your kids are watching how you handle adversity. I have seen firsthand, how my girls have reacted to situations based on how they saw me react. They feed off of our energy. If you freak out they will also freak out. - Take deep breathes.
When faced with a challenge such as chocolate milk spilling or forgetting your kids’ lunch when you need to get to work.
Take a few seconds and take deep breaths and figure out what you can do.Phone a friend, your husband, your mom – that can help you figure things out. - Do not blame yourself or the kids.
Accidents happen! Use the experience to help you prepare for the next time. And let your munchkin know it will be fine. - Ask for help if available.
Looking back at my morning, I could have asked my husband to drop the girls to school since I had an event. - Make sure the subject of your message describes your problem clearly.
This will help the person receiving the message, to read it faster. This small detail helped tremendously when I sent the email to my daughter’s teacher. - Always see the positive and small wins.
It is hard to see the positives in the heat of the moment. Over the years I have learned to not sweat the small stuff –
well, I am still learning Y’all!I will make a quick assessment and remind myself that everyone is safe and not hurt, and that’s the most important thing.
Things can be replaced. - Know when you need to step away.
Take the time to yourself to regroup. It could be a few minutes, a day or more. I have found that when I’m at my overall best is when I can give more to my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. - Let your family work things out on their own sometimes, let them miss you.
I realized that I wasn’t giving my husband enough opportunity to take on some of the daily grinds.
I have my “way” of doing things and have to let go and let him do things his way. - Call out loud to God. He is always listening.
Oh, I call out and ask God for patience and help every day.
As Moms, We Must Be Selfish Sometimes.
We must insist on some form of self-care! To be healthy and strong for our families, we must ensure we take care of ourselves first.
I always remember the prompt we receive from flight attendants when they do the safety announcement.
“If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask first, and then assist the other person.”
This is easier said than done, and have been a challenge for me throughout my journey as a mother.
However, I feel and see the benefits when I make sure I get enough sleep, eat, drink water, exercise, prep and use the bathroom – yep, use the bathroom!
There have been times when I put off using the bathroom because there is no time.
Take Care of Yourselves.
Our minds will be calmer and we will be able to handle the daily challenges or juggling life when we are at our best.
Focus on the things you can control to help make your days easier.
These will be different for each of us and our dynamics.
I hope by sharing these lessons that I have learned and the story or my crazy day, of many, that you can see that you are not alone.
And you can use some of my lessons learned to overcome overwhelm and have wining days.
Please share some of your stories and how you overcame your “mom failure”.
Thank you!
Yamiek, aka, Tallawah Human
