My Journey to Motherhood

In December 2010 my husband and I found out we were pregnant after almost two years of trying to have a baby.  I still remember the day and moment so vividly.  It was one of the happiest days of my life. I was finally Fertile!

My Journey to Fertility

After trying to get pregnant for more than a year and countless negative pregnancy tests, we took the scary step of consulting a fertility doctor.

Infertility is such an emotional and sensitive subject, and I did not appreciate how nonchalant and insensitive the staff of this practice was.  My husband and I did all the initial tests and screening and they all came back good. They could not see any reason why we were not getting pregnant.

Checking My Tubes

I was sent to the hospital to do a hysterosalpingogram (HSG ) test to check my Fallopian tubes and fertility potential. Everything seemed fine during the procedure. There was some confusion with my follow up appointment after my HSG test. We weren’t scheduled for my follow up until a few weeks after the procedure.

Follow Up with Fertility Doctor – We have a Problem

We finally got in for our follow up, and I could tell that the doctor did not review our file and case prior. He was reviewing the information and reading out loud while we sat across from him.  Then he said, ” oh, I see here that you have some blocked tubes“.  As if he was talking about something minuscule. I lost it and started to Bawl and Shake. I was angry, shocked and scared. Everything seemed fine at the hospital. We could see while the procedure was going on.

I  did not go back to that doctor or practice after that day. A friend who was also having trouble getting pregnant recommended her doctor.

Maintaining Hope of Fertility 

The nurse was doing her routine intake checks prior to me seeing the doctor and having a procedure done.
I asked her to do a pregnancy test and she looked at me and said, “it is anatomically impossible for you to be pregnant”!

I could not believe she had just said that to me. At that moment, I didn’t understand the anatomically part of what she said,
just the impossible.

Holding back tears and my tongue, I looked her square in her eyes and said, “I Always Have Hope!”.
She then said, “you know what, let’s do the test”.

I now understand her medical logic.
You see, I hadn’t had a period in months and she did do a pregnancy test at my initial appointment a few weeks prior.
The fertility doctor had prescribed medicine to make me have a period.
I was given this prescription prior, by the first fertility doctor and it made my period very heavy.

Listen to Your Intuition

Something in my spirit was saying to not take the medicine. I took it for only three of the seven recommended days.

While we waited to see the results of the pregnancy test the nurse kept making odd sounds.
She then told us to look. It was two very light blue lines – Positive!
I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. My makeup was all over my husbands’ white shirt.

He held me and remained calm. He wanted to be sure and needed more conclusive evidence.
We had taken numerous pregnancy tests for almost two years and they were all negative.
This journey took a toll on both of us.

My blood was taken and sent to the lab.
The same nurse that told me it was impossible couldn’t wait for the blood test results.
She decided to do a vaginal ultrasound.

We saw the little bean and heard her heartbeat.
It was Impossible to deny that I was indeed pregnant.

We were blessed with a beautiful healthy baby girl the following year, 2011 and my life was forever changed.
Life was no longer about me.

We were blessed twice with princesses. I have grown so much as a person, woman, and mother and continue to stretch each day.

I know we are blessed to have had our fertility story go this way, I do not take it lightly one bit.

Lessons Learned From My Fertility Journey

1. Always Have Hope, even when things seem Impossible.
2. You will not understand everything in life. Miracles do happen.
3. You may not get what you work for, and pray for when you want it,  however, keep trusting and praying. God has an even better plan for you!
4. Don’t give up! Keep praying and ask others to pray for you. This is such a sensitive and personal journey, however, if you have family, friends or a small group that you know you can share with, let them help you carry this burden.
5. Trust yourself and listen to your instincts.  Although all the “facts” said I could not be pregnant I felt that I was.

I still look at my girls in amazement and gratitude that I was chosen to be their mother.
[In between them driving me bonkers]
This is the most challenging and fulfilling job I have ever encountered.

I am sharing my journey pre-pregnancy, during pregnancy, labor, and delivery up until now.
There are so many little “ish” that I wished I knew, that I would like to share in the hope that they can help you with your journey.

I hope by sharing my journey, I can support and assist you and other mothers or mothers-to-be.

This job is no joke and there is no perfect manual or one size fits all onesies, however,
when we come together we are stronger and better.

We spoke about sharing our burdens as a community in church this week.

Hearing this message made me even more motivated to share my journey and create a Community through this blog.
To help you and other’s that feel alone, or may not have a community and can’t share their burdens with those around them for whatever reason.

So, keep your Hope and Faith for a child/children. They are many roads to – Becoming a Mom.

We Weren’t Created to Handle Life and Our Burdens on Our Own! 
Such a powerful and profound statement. Making this statement sink into my head helps my shoulders loosen.
I don’t have to do Life alone, and You don’t either.

My family is my primary community, and I have recently found a small group through my church.
It truly takes a village, even if your village is scattered across the globe.

That’s the power and advantage we have with technology and the internet.
We can connect and support each other from virtually anywhere (almost).

Our children are our future. Being a parent is the most import role we have as Humans.
Let’s Share, Support and Learn from Each other.

Please join me on this journey and share your stories so we can all support and learn from each other.

Namaste!