Is there such a thing as “balance” for working moms? Are you trying to find your balance as a working mom? Let’s examine if working moms can achieve balance.
Can Working Moms Achieve Balance?
How do you balance it all? This is the question I found that I kept asking the successful top executive women I met after becoming a mom.
I needed to know how they were able to achieve career success and still be there for their families, in particular being a working career mom.
Cause, I was struggling and struggling badly. Trying to “balance” work, being a mom, wife along with all the “hats” I wore.
I struggled most during my first years of being a working mother and especially after my second daughter was born, I kept wondering…
I found myself asking “how do you balance being a working mother?” as I built relationships with working moms.
Why Should We Separate Being a Mom From Our Work!
They were times I disclosed that I was a mom during interviews.
I didn’t want to separate being a mother from my job title. All the hats I wear make me who I am, Yamiek. A Human trying to live my best life.
Becoming a mother has made me a better person.
How could I take a role and present myself in one light and then show up as another person?
Remember, you’re also interviewing the companies and teams during your interviews.
I mentioned my family when appropriate to test the culture of the companies I was considering for employment. It was very important for me to work for an organization that supports mothers during all stages of motherhood.
I feel it is fair for both parties to know the expectations upfront. You’re not going to blurt out that you’re a mother at the beginning of your interview. Your interviewer may mention that they’re a mom and open the door to this conversation.
You will need to assess each interview to see when and if it’s appropriate to bring up your family.
We Shouldn’t Feel We Need To Hide Being a Working Mom
My family and being a mother are my number one priority. I wouldn’t take a position that would not allow me to support my family how they need me to.
During my final interview with the CEO of one of my former company’s, she asked. “What’s your hesitation?” I didn’t even realize I was projecting doubt.
This was a pivotal moment for me. I had been searching for a career change for a long time and felt this was the position and company. However, had some doubts.
Share Your Truth
I shared my truth with the CEO.
Telling her I was told I couldn’t have children and by some miracle, I was blessed not once, but twice with two daughters.
That I prayed for those babies and need to do my very best to take care of them.
The position I was interviewing for was a new role with a new division of the company. I knew it was going to take a lot “of me”.
She looked me square in the eyes and told me, “at this company, it’s God first and then family”.
I was blown away by her response.
This sounds cheesy, but, I felt the presence of God in that room.
The Right Company Will See Your Qualifications And The Value Your Have to Offer
I went against everything I was taught as a career coach and spoke about my children. About something very very personal. That “had nothing to do with my ability to do the job”. I spoke my truth and got personal.
My next question to the CEO was, “how do you balance it all?”.
I had researched her extensively. Read about her career trajectory and learned that she is a working mother.
I still communicate with this wonderful lady years after leaving the company.
You want to work with a team and company that will support you as a working mom.
If a company rejects you because you’re a mother, that is NOT the company for you!
How Much You Give to Your Job Depends on The Season You’re In
I couldn’t work how I worked prior to having kids.
My job was my baby and a huge part of my life before I had my daughters. Looking back now, I can see that I made the choice of working the long hours that I did.
I packed my schedule with events, workshops, programs and everything that I felt would help me achieve the goals I had and were given.
That was a different season in my life. I was building my career climbing “that career ladder”. Do, I dare say I didn’t have a life? No, that was my life. In that season!
Becoming a mother did give me more purpose and caused me to start thinking more about who I am and who I want to be.
After becoming a mother, I worked fewer hours. I created processes to help me be more efficient and productive.
Be understanding with yourself if you’re feeling frustrated trying to “balance” being a mom and having a career…
Trying to work how you did before having kids. Your seasons of life are constantly changing, mama.
Can Career Moms Achieve Balance?
How do you balance being a mother and your career?
How do you balance it ALL?
Have you asked these questions too?
These are some of the questions I found myself asking successful working moms.
Two answers stood out to me even to this day:
- “There is no true balance. There are times when I have a project working on for work that will take and require more of my time. And there are times when someone at home or the family will take precedence. We try to have dinner together every night and make and take quality time together as a family.” The CEO of one of my former companies. A Rockstar Career Mom for more than 20 years…
- “You have to build a community where you support each other. You cannot do it alone.
It’s fun, but I couldn’t do it without my community’s support.” The Vice President of one of my former companies. A Rockstar Career Mom for more than 10 years.
Based on my personal experience, personally picking the brains of successful working moms, along with listening to interviews of multiple working moms…
My conclusion is, there is NO true balance! No true balance in terms of the literal meaning of balance.
Let’s Define the Meaning of Balance & Compare It To Balance For Working Moms
- Balance is an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
- Balance is a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
Can Working Moms Have Balance?
In the comparison chart above I’m looking at the definition of balance and using the meaning to examine if working moms can achieve balance.
This is based on my personal experience as a working mom, what I have witnessed from other working moms, and what I have gathered over the last eight years in my quest to find balance as a working mother.
As you can see from the chart, there is no “even distribution” of “weight” at home and work for working moms.
Working Moms Can Find Their Rhythm, Blending Being a Mom and Work.
What’s The Meaning Of Rhythm?
- Rhythm is usually associated with regular repeated patterns of sounds or beats used in music, poems, and dance.
- Rhythm is also defined as a regularly repeated pattern of movement or change.
Using “Rhythm” to define how working moms “balance” work and family.
We can describe Rhythm as a regular repeated or recurring movement and change in a working mom’s life of blending or integrating work and family.
Our days as moms typically follow a similar pattern that reoccurs every day, however, there is always movement and variation.
We each must find our own Rhythm and Dance to our own beat, based on what works best for us and our family.
As a working mother, you will not find true balance. However, you can find your own Rhythm and Dance to your own beat.
Therein finding and making your own definition of “balance”.
Are you struggling to find balance as a working mom? Struggling to do it all?
Give yourself Grace. Find and do what works best for you and your family.
I created a 5 STEP SYSTEM to help you find your “balance” or as I prefer to say, your Rhythm.
This topic is dear to my heart. I would love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below or email directly on yamiek@rockstarcareermoms.com.
P.S. Related Article: Let’s Redefine the Meaning of Career and Career Mom
Moms, it’s time for us to shake up the career industry! Let’s Redefine the meaning of Career and Career Mom!
Yes, please do share it with your friends. I would love to have you all join the Rockstar Career Moms Community.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below or reach out directly by email.
