Are you a working mom seeking time for yourself, but you’re feeling guilty? Here are 10 benefits why working moms should take “me time”.

 

Often times as working moms we put ourselves at the bottom of our lists. Both at work and at home. We then find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and not recognizing or knowing who we are anymore. Can you relate?

I totally relate when I look back at my first years as a working mother. No one could have prepared me for the struggle of doing it all. Working, being a mother, wife, homemaker, and all the hats I wore as a new working mom juggling it all.

Working Women Felt Pressured Before Becoming Working Moms

As working women, we put ourselves under tremendous pressure to “keep up” to over-deliver and not only meet our goals but exceed them. For me, as a woman, woman of color, and immigrant I feel I subconsciously put even more pressure on myself to hold the bar very high.

My upbringing, culture, and family values are major parts of why I have put this pressure to deliver on myself as well. 

I was born and raised in Jamaica. I’m a third-generation college graduate from a family of high achievers. The motto of the high school I attended is “Age Quod Agis”. This means, “whatever you do, do it to the best of your abilities”.

When we take these things into consideration we can see how becoming a working mom makes the puzzle more complicated. 

The Transition From Working Woman To Working Mom

When we become working moms we feel even more pressure. Some of which are internal and some external. We don’t want to be seen as not having the ability to function at the level we were before we became mothers. Additionally and unfortunately some employers are not empathetic and supportive of working mothers.

Quite frankly thinking about all the struggles we face as women having children infuriates me. Every human came from a mother. Right! Why are we not more aware of the struggles of working moms and are more supportive! 

I share all of this to show that as working women we were facing internal and external challenges prior to being working moms. We feel pressured to deliver at work and home and often sacrifice ourselves as we don’t want to disappoint anyone.

It is vital as working mothers that we take time to care for ourselves. It’s not selfish, in fact, it benefits everyone we support and serve when working moms take “Me Time”.

Here are 10 Benefits For Working Moms To Take “Me Time”

1. For Our Overall Health And Wellbeing

As working moms, we’re serving and giving a lot to everyone at work and home. Especially this last year going through this global pandemic. An article on CNBC shared that 9.8 billion working mothers in the U.S. are suffering from burnout.

This last year has challenged me as a working mother navigating remote school while working. I have constantly had to readjust my schedule and find my rhythm again – to work, exercise, make meals, clean, and do all the things. 

I wanted to make sure I was not only there to support my daughters with their school work, but also with the emotional aspect of all they were going through. 

In 2020 I definitely sacrificed my health. Since the new year, I have been working to be more intentional with taking care of my physical, mental, spiritual, and all the “alls” related to my overall health and well-being.

We need to MAKE time for ourselves and do the things that help us stay healthy. What can you do today, or this week to help improve your health?

2. To Fill Your Cup Up

This message was given to me several times.

We can’t pour into anyone from an empty cup!

Did you feel that? The punch in the gut!

Even writing this I felt it again. Ouch!  We can’t pour into our children, spouses, and teams if our cups are empty. 

Mama, taking time for yourself to do the things that will keep filling your cup up is imperative. In order for you to keep being the rockstar working mom you are, you need to make time to fill your cup up. 

What actions can you take that will make the most impact in filling your “cup” now? Think small first. Be realistic with what you can do based on your current circumstances.

Yes, you’re a superwoman, but you’re human first. 

3. Recharge and Recover

Where are you in your journey as a working mother? How old are your children? Are your children school-age? Are they attending school remotely or doing a hybrid schedule?

What’s your role at work? How many people do you serve at work? How many “hats” or roles do you hold at work? Are you working from home while trying to support your kids attending school from home?

When was the last time you had a moment by yourself doing something that helps you rejuvenate and recover from the constant hamster wheel of juggling all the things as a busy working mother!

Where else are you serving outside of work and home?

I’m sorry mama. I feel the weight of all of that and I know you do too. You need to get some time for yourself that helps you recharge and recover. Or you will not be able to keep giving and doing it all.

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4. Happy Mom. Happy Wife. Happy Boss Mom.

There is a reason they have that saying, “happy wife, happy life”. Let’s face it when we’re happy our home life and work-life are happy too.

I don’t know about you, but I like myself better when I’m happy. And I’m sure my kids, husband, and everyone around me feel the same.

Our happiness not only benefits us but also those closest to us. 

What actions can you take or not take by getting some time for yourself that will bring you joy and happiness?

Related Article: How to Exercise as a Busy Working Mom

5. Stillness 

Take a deep breath. Take a few more intentional deep breaths. Breathe.

How did you react to the pandemic in 2020? When I looked back, I found that I responded by taking on all the things. That was probably the busiest I had ever been in recent years. I was never bored. I spread myself so thin I almost burst!

We need to have stillness in order to hear God, ourselves, and gain clarity. This is a hard time and we may not even realize how things are affecting us, our spouse, our children, and our teams. 

When we take the time to be still and pray we gain clarity in order to see. In order to see ourselves, family, friends, and teammates we need to take time and pause. 

Taking “Me Time”, time for ourselves as busy working moms is much more than us just wanting to use the toilet in peace. Much welcomed though! We’ll become more aware of the needs of those closest and dare to us in order to help them. 

6. RESET

Being a working mom is like being on a fast-paced train that moves like a roller coaster. Our journey begins when we have these little babies andit snowballs as they grow. I have been studying working mothers for several years and have found that our values change when we go from Working Women to Working Mothers.

I didn’t realize that this was a major part of my discontent and frustration as a working mother. My journey, my train ride went at such a fast pace I couldn’t see the cause of my discontent. 

Often we don’t realize the shifts within ourselves when we’re in the midst of the journey – the high-speed rollercoaster train ride.

You must pause and reset along the journey and reevaluate who you are in each season and who you want to be.

 You must evaluate where you are and where you’re going.

As the seasons of your life change as a working mother, you may also change. Your values and goals may change. When was the last time you took time to evaluate who you are and where you’re going and reset as needed?

7. Keep Finding Yourself

Don’t lose yourself in the hustle, keep becoming who you’re called to be.

As working mothers, we become frustrated and discontent when we lose ourselves and stop working on becoming who we’re called to be. Unfortunately, sometimes taking out our frustrations on the people closest to us. 

In 2017 I became awakened and saw myself. I did not recognize who I was. Yes, we were individuals before we became mothers. Honestly, becoming a mother probably saved me. 

Being a mother made me look deeper within myself and question who I wanted to be. Not just for myself, but for my children. Becoming a mother made me start working harder to be the best version of myself. 

My struggles as a working mother lead me to my passion, purpose, and calling. I know these may change and evolve as I grow. However, I feel that I found myself after becoming a mother. 

Mama, do you know who you are? Have you lost who you are? Make and take the time and don’t lose yourself in the grind and hustle.

8. Be The Best Wife, Mom, Friend, Boss And You

In order for you to be the best version of yourself for everyone you support and serve in your life, you need to take and make the time to be the best YOU! 

I know you want to be the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, and whatever your job title is. Mama, the common denominator in all those “hats” you wear is YOU! All your roles and “hats” you wear make you, YOU! 

Do the things, make, and take the time to become the person you need to be in order to be your best self.

Related Article: How to job search during quarantine?

9. Make Them Appreciate You More

My family and I have been quarantined together for over 300 days, almost a year. I did a Costco run for the first time in months and received several phone calls from my daughter within the first hour after leaving the house! You would have believed I had been gone for days.

I know you give your all at work and home, especially this last year going through the pandemic. When was the last time you had one hour to do something for yourself? I’m not talking about going to the grocery store or running an errand.

Have you been working from home during the pandemic? The lines between your work life and home life may have blurred where you can’t separate them. You’re always available for everyone often multitasking and feeling pulled in 100 million directions.

Let everyone you support and serve know you’re not available. Let them know you’re taking some time for yourself to refresh, fill up your cup, and reset. Whatever you feel you need now or ongoing, make and take the time to do it and let everyone know you’re not available. 

They say absence makes the heart goes fonder. Make them appreciate you more.

 

10. See Your Value

Have you ever gone on a business trip and have your husband hold the fort down? Or have you taken time off work and have your team hold things down without checking in with you?

Some husbands may have it all packed down as well as teams without you. Hats off to them! However, life takes a village and as women, we’re the head of our villages. Yes, happy wife, happy life. Happy working mom, happy team!

We do an amazing job at running a well-oiled home and work life, often at our own demise. We’re doing the jobs of three, four, five people and we’re suffering in silence. Because we don’t want to be seen as not being enough or not being able to handle it all.

As women and working mothers, we must start speaking up more. If we continue to present this perfect picture of holding it all together nothing will change. 

Yes, not every woman has the “luxury” and freedom to speak up without backlash. Those that have a “seat” at the table need to speak up on behalf of those who don’t yet in order for change to happen. 

In the meantime taking time to step away and let your value be seen in your absence is another way you can speak up. 

We must be intentional about making and taking “Me Time”  especially these days. 

How are you making and taking me time in this season? Let’s share and learn from each other.