Telling Your Boss You’re Pregnant Shouldn’t be Stressful.
Unfortunately, it is for some of us.
Working Moms thought. When to Tell My Boss, I’m Pregnant
I vividly remember driving to work after my doctor’s appointment that wonderful day In December 2010.
I had just seen and heard my Miracles’ Heartbeat.
The cells in my body were so heightened from my Excitement and Joy.
After trying for almost two years, I was Finally Expecting a Baby!
My eyes were puffy and my nose stuffy from crying tears of Joy!
I wanted to tell everyone I saw. I felt like I could literally shout “I AM PREGNANT” from the rooftop.
I had called my mom and aunt as soon as I left the doctor’s office.
I could hardly get the words out because I started to cry again as soon as I heard their voices.
And when I finally got the words out – they Started to Shout and Cry too.
They knew my struggle, understood my joy and were happy for me.
They both advised me to not share the news until after the first 12 weeks.
I am not good at holding secrets like this one. It was hard!
It was estimated that I was around 7 weeks pregnant.
I had five to six weeks to figure out how to spill the beans.
Educating myself before I Spill the Beans
I familiarized myself with:
- Maternity Leave – Fairygodboss gives a great overview of maternity leave.
- The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA)
- My Short-Term Disability Coverage
- My Insurance Coverage
- My Company’s Vacation Time Policy
It was all a bit confusing and I did not want to reach out to Human Resources (HR) until after I spoke with my manager.
My company had an internal employee platform that I used to read up the guidelines for
using FMLA, Short-Term Disability and Vacation time.
I reached out to my health insurance company to find out about coverage for me and my baby.
Highlights of What I learned from my Research:
- New moms receive Maternity Leave by using a combination of FMLA, Short-Term Disability, Sick Leave, Personal Days and Vacation Time. Depending on your company’s coverage, your insurance coverage, among other factors.
- With FMLA, new moms are eligible to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave where your job would be safe.
- You had to have Short-Term Disability Coverage to get paid.
Thankfully, I had opted for the highest coverage of 90% when I signed up.
My company had changed the policy and capped coverage at 66% after. - This means I would receive 90% of my salary while I was out on maternity leave.
So, do sign up for Short-term disability if your company offers it and opt for the highest coverage available. - You only get six to eight weeks of short-term coverage.
Six weeks for regular delivery and eight weeks for C-section. - This means if you want to take the full 12 weeks of your FMLA. Your short-term coverage will only
cover you for six or eight weeks – depending on the type of delivery you have. - My company’s policy allowed me to use all my time-off (vacation, personal days and sick days) how I wanted.
So, I could use my time-off towards my maternity leave that my short-term leave would not cover. - It is important to have good health insurance coverage if you are thinking of having a baby.
I was relieved to know I would only have a small deductible to pay if I chose to have my baby at a hospital.
Use all the information gathered from your research to create a plan. This will help you figure out how much time you can take off for maternity leave and prepare to speak with your manager.
When To Tell Your Boss, You’re Pregnant
My mom and aunt advised me to wait until after 12 weeks, the first trimester, before sharing the great news with everyone.
I think the primary reason people suggest waiting until after the first trimester is the fear of “what if” something happens.
I have two daughters and my pregnancy experience with each was different. I had morning sickness with my first pregnancy beyond the first trimester, but thankfully I would feel better by late morning.
My second pregnancy was very challenging. I had Severe Morning Sickness ALL-DAY for the first months. I could not keep anything down, not even water. I got dehydrated and was almost hospitalized. I had to give in and take medicine.
You can read about how I Coped with Extreme Morning Sickness here.
I recommend using the suggestions and recommendations of when to tell your boss you’re pregnant as guidelines. In addition,
ask yourself these questions to help you decide when is the best time for YOU to tell your boss you’re pregnant.
- What type of, or how is your relationship with you and your manager?
I am thankful that I had good relationships with both managers I had for both my pregnancies.
I was comfortable sharing that I was expecting. - How are you feeling with your pregnancy? Do you have morning sickness or All-Day sickness?
Are there any complications?
I could function well for most of the day with my first pregnancy and didn’t feel I needed to tell my manager before the 12-week mark. I was a basket case with my second pregnancy. I was so sick I kept an empty trash can by my desk just in case I couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time.
I had to tell my manager I was pregnant soon after I found out I was expecting. I needed the support. - Are you in a key leadership position within your company?
You may need to start planning early to make necessary adjustments that are needed while pregnant and on maternity leave.
I oversaw a department with my first pregnancy and had a team that reported to me.
I felt more pressured as I had the responsibility for my department and team.
After making a detailed plan I could let go and relax. - Will it make You less stressed to spill the beans right away?
Keeping quiet and trying to not spill the beans can be stressful for some of us and our baby.
Do what works best for you and your baby.
Telling Your Boss, You’re Pregnant
I waited until after the first 12 weeks to tell my manager with my first pregnancy, and I told my manager much earlier with my second pregnancy.
First Time Spilling The Beans
I had a weekly 1:1 meeting with my manager, and I decided to tell her after we went over our agenda.
I created an overview of a plan for my department to transition into my maternity leave and coming back.
I told my manager I had something to share with her after we were finished with our agenda.
I showed her a picture of my sonogram and told her I was expecting. She seemed genuinely happy for me.
Please note, I felt comfortable sharing in this manner, because of my relationship with my manager.
And I was so darn excited and proud to show off my little bean.
Be ready for the questions
I tried to anticipate all the questions she would have and gave her the answers.
I told her the estimated due date.
That I anticipated working right up until the baby arrived and the time I planned to take for maternity leave.
I assured her that she was the first person at work I shared my news with and asked her how she thought we should let the team know.
Work with Your Boss on How to Share with the Team
My manager appreciated that I came with suggestions on how and when to deliver my news and we worked together to refine it.
Second Time Spilling The Beans
I was as sick as a dog with my second pregnancy.
At times, I felt like I could not physically go on.
I do not see pregnancy as a “sickness, condition or complication” and did not want to be treated as though I was sick.
However, I needed understanding, when I had to run out of a meeting abruptly to run to the bathroom or needed someone else to handle setting up the lunch for an event we were hosting.
All food sounded and smelled disgusting.
I did not have time to create a plan as I did with my first pregnancy.
I was the first person to arrive in our department and my manager came in after.
I went into his office to let him know I needed to speak with him and set up a meeting.
A wave of nausea hit me. I physically did not look well. I just blurted out that I was expecting and wasn’t feeling well.
He was very congratulatory.
I did not have much information to share or time to speak. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom.
I had two different experiences spilling the beans and telling my managers I was pregnant.
They both worked out fine.
Don’t Stress Over Telling Your Boss You’re Pregnant
If you are expecting, especially if this is your first pregnancy, try not to make “telling your boss you’re pregnant” stressful for yourself and your baby.
Educate yourself on your coverage for Maternity Leave, FMLA, Short-term Disability, Your Company’s Vacation Policy and Your Insurance Coverage.
Ask yourself the questions above about your relationship with your boss and how you are feeling – to help you make the right decision of when to tell your boss you are pregnant.
If you decide to wait until after the first trimester, remember do not share with the world on social media and be mindful of telling others within your office prior to telling your boss.
You don’t want your boss to find out about your pregnancy from someone else before you get the chance to spill the beans yourself.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
You may have found this post looking for some guidance on how to tell your boss you’re expecting.
I hope you have a good relationship with your boss.
Try not to make “telling” him/her a big deal and stress over this.
You’re going to have a lot more to put your energy towards soon.
Breathe deeply and enjoy the ride.
I hope my experience will help you – as you ponder, “When to Tell Your Boss, You’re Pregnant“.
Moms, please share any additional guidance.
Moms-to-be, please let us know if you have questions.
Thank you!
Yamiek, aka, Tallawah Human
